Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Motivation & Inspiration

Apparently I went through a sort of motivation crisis four or five months early as I wrote in the entry Legacy of the Peace Corps.  Several of my fellow volunteers from my group are having brainstorming sessions and discussions on how to keep going.  We suddenly found ourselves in the peculiar position of being the longest serving volunteers (aside from the two who have extended for a third year), and how to motivate ourselves was a frequent topic of conversation. 

After two months of training and a year of service, we have reached a lull.  The first two months in the country is spent in training, learning the language, the culture, getting over part of the culture shock, and just basically figuring out if this is truly what we wanted.  The first three months in site is spent moving in, developing friendships and relationships with counterparts / other staff people, and basically what Peace Corps calls community integration and continuing trying to figure out if this is what we want to do. During the months afterwards, teaching techniques were tried and perfected, niches in business and public health organization were found, or other major assignments were found, new ideas and thoughts for our assignments were implemented.

After a year, now that we know how to live here, that we have called this country our home, these communities our community, we also learn much of what goes on in a community that is not obvious to the casual observer. Our mental energy is spent looking at various things of Kenya that originally did not bother us, but now that the “honeymoon” period is over, drives us absolutely bonkers. 

We learned about corruption in almost every organization, from small scale “borrowing pencils and never returning” to taking school food and selling for an individual’s profit, and to fudging of documents for travel reimbursement.  This can and does cause some disillusionment in quite a few volunteers, and they asked the same questions that I asked back in September – what am I doing here in Kenya?  Is it helping any?

One volunteer is of the opinion that all foreign aid should be removed, that the only way to resolve the dependence that Kenya has on foreign aid was to completely cut everything off, and have them figure out how to manage their country.  I believe that the solution lies somewhere in the middle.  Foreign aid should come with accountability and strict guidelines, and some aid should be cut off, most definitely, but I found myself becoming less of a cynic here than I was in the United States, which surprised myself, and I believe that some foreign aid does good here.  It is not my intention to got off on a tangent, and more on foreign aid might be written at another time.  This played a huge part in how she felt about her job, and what happens with and in her school administration. 

Another volunteer found out that there were major problems with the accounting at her project, and this forced her to question whether providing the services she provides as a volunteer to that organization is truly in the best interest of her organization.  A few other volunteers started to see the fellow teachers at their school with new eyes – possibly really seeing who would benefit what they are trying to teach.  Many volunteers have started to really miss the comforts of their homes and lives in the United States, and in order to keep going and ignore what is pulling us back to the States we have to find something. 

We have to find inspiration.  One way or another, we have to find something that would inspire us to remain here and manage our cynicism, to continue working with the students, to continue working with our community, it all boils down to finding things that inspires us, and enough inspiration that it makes all the headaches and frustrations worth it. 

So, yeah, inspiration. 

I found inspiration at almost every major Deaf community event or organization when I talk with Deaf individuals sharing stories about their PCV teachers who taught them fifteen, twelve, seven years ago.  I find myself being inspired by Deaf Kenyans wanting to aim higher, becoming teachers because of teachers who inspired them.

I was inspired at Global Reach Out when I saw participants interested in paying for the program (albeit still at a discounted rate), rather than asking for handouts and passing on the torch to the secondary school students.

I am continuously inspired by my students; the laughter when they understand a play on words, the shining eyes when they finally understand the difference in meaning when you use different prepositions with the same nouns, the sheepish grins when I told them I was once a high school student, and that I was not born just yesterday when I see that they have copied homework from another student, and excitement in sharing and trading stories.  I am inspired by the one who wants to become a nurse, the one with aspirations for electric work, the one who wants to work with interpreters, and several who want to be teachers.

I am inspired by three or four teachers that I work with that works tirelessly, eager to learn as much as they can about KSL and Deaf culture, asking me about ways and ideas in order to communicate best with their students.  I am inspired by their stories, by their lives, and their families. 

I am also inspired by the new group of Math/Science and Deaf Education volunteers. That people continues to want to go abroad to help a group of people that they do not even begin to know or understand, to experience new things, to broaden their horizons, and just basically spend two years of their lives doing something that most of the people in the United States would never even think of doing.  I am inspired by their new energy and motivation. 

Lastly, but not least, I am definitely inspired by the other members of my group, those who seek out and work on secondary projects that provides them with great motivation, those who continues to work with administration that puts obstacles and problems everywhere, the ones that continues to want to teach, and the ones who became such members of their community that it is virtually impossible to walk through town in ten minutes.

Here’s to another crazy year of service!    

1 comment:

Kate O. Breen said...

great post - keep on truckin'

DISCLAIMER

This blog consists of my personal thoughts and opinions. It does not in any way reflect the position of the United States Government or the Peace Corps.